


Something About You

by unfunny



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Co-workers, Dialogue Heavy, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Nonsense, Too Much Banter, bad boys slacking off, but not in a sexy way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-09 23:51:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12286851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unfunny/pseuds/unfunny
Summary: In the twenty-six days that Soonyoung worked at the office, he managed to get very little actual work done.





	Something About You

**Author's Note:**

> this is just ridiculous

In the twenty-six days that Soonyoung worked at the office, he managed to get very little actual work done. It's not an impressive feat without context, but his boss had been a rather imposing, large guy, so Soonyoung thinks that changes some things. He only worked there for twenty-six days because, as it turned out, he was not very good at the job. The little work he did do was subpar at best and sabotage at worst, so really, it was for the best that he didn't do very much. The point is, he spent those twenty-six days avoiding his duties. 

On his final day of work, he stands with his tiny, sad box of office supplies clutched tight to his chest, the boss gives him an insincere wave with about as much passion as Soonyoung had had for the work, and it all feels very fitting. His coworkers stare in vague interest at the poor guy with the shortest record in the office's history as he taps on the receptionist's desk weakly. 

Soonyoung's first day was a different beast entirely.

Soonyoung's first day was a Wednesday, which he remembers because it had been the only thing marked in his phone’s calendar for the whole month, with a festive and celebratory alert tone in honor of his first bout of employment in a while. He was excited, to say the least, to get the call from Seungcheol. "Can you start next week?" he had asked, sounding entirely uninterested.

"Yes!" Soonyoung replied too quickly, too loudly. He swung his legs off the couch at the question, rising to stand and pace as Seungcheol ran over some instructions, pizza crumbs raining onto the floor below him. He was to arrive at 9 a.m. in slacks and Soonyoung was not ready, but he was enthusiastic. He nodded into the phone until Seungcheol stopped talking, and then immediately ran to the local department store to buy a pair of slacks.

Sometime around 2 in the afternoon on that Wednesday, Soonyoung ran into two problems. The first was that he didn't know his neighbor's name, and the second was that he didn't know what he was doing.

He had been led by Seungcheol that morning down the hall to a small room with a few desks and ugly, green-brown carpeting. The desk to his left and his own weren’t separated by anything, both identical with their glossy fake wood and nearly empty save for the PCs and mousepads. The guy next to him had come in later than Soonyoung, headed straight for his chair with his eyes on the floor, and hadn’t looked up from his work since. 

The only other person in the room was Jihoon, who hadn’t even turned around when Seungcheol loudly announced Soonyoung’s presence earlier. He was working in the room’s lone cubicle, even though there was nobody beside him, and Soonyoung still hadn’t seen his face. 

After Soonyoung’s hours of twiddling his thumbs and texting his mom, he leaned cautiously into the space of the accountant to his left and whispered, "Um, excuse me?" The guy was two inches from his computer screen, eyes glazed over in boredom as he scanned over row after row of figures. "Excuse me?" Soonyoung tried again.

At this, the guy almost gasped, rearing back from his screen like he was being yanked out of a trance. He turned to look at Soonyoung. "Who are you?"

"I'm Soonyoung."

"When did you get here?"

"This morning."

Soonyoung's neighbor settled back in his seat a little. "Oh. Oh, uh, I'm Wonwoo.”

"Hi, Wonwoo!" Soonyoung chirped. He wasn’t too upset that Wonwoo hadn't noticed him before this moment, since he'd been really quiet.

"Are you the new IT guy?" Wonwoo asked, kicking away from his desk and twirling a pen around in his hand. Soonyoung nodded. "Cool. Actually, I've been having some issues. You wanna take a look?"

Soonyoung paused, but Wonwoo glanced back at him again and he nodded again. "For sure," he mumbled.

Wonwoo opened up a spreadsheet program and clicked around, apparently showing Soonyoung something. "So, do you think there's something wrong with it? It's been like this since a couple weeks ago. We updated the system, but I can’t tell if it’s a bug or something else." Soonyoung squinted at the screen and pretended to examine it. "Um, do you need me to move?"

"Yeah, actually," Soonyoung lied.

Wonwoo slid his chair over to the side so Soonyoung could step in to squat in front of the desk. He tilted the screen away from Wonwoo just a bit. He did some clicking, trying not to mess with any of the data, but he really didn’t see a problem. Wonwoo watched silently as Soonyoung clicked Save As button, then Cancel, then Save As, again and again.

"Ah," Soonyoung said a minute later. Wonwoo sat forward in his seat, interested. "Have you tried turning it off and back on again?" Wonwoo was quiet. "If the problem persists, maybe... restart the router?"

After a long and painful pause, Wonwoo said, "Are you fucking with me?" 

"Uh," Soonyoung floundered, then considered making a run for the break room. "No."

"Do you..." Wonwoo appeared to think carefully about his next words. "Know anything about computers?" Soonyoung stuttered around some excuse, and Wonwoo began to look legitimately concerned.

"So, here's the thing," Soonyoung started, and stood to back away from Wonwoo's desk. "I kind of haven't had a good job for, like, a while? And I really want to do well here, so if you could just, not mention this to anybody?" He knew it was a long shot, but he hoped his pitiful face would convince Wonwoo to hold his cover for at least as long as it would take him to find another temp job or whatever.

Wonwoo, at least, looked contemplative. Soonyoung squeezed his hands together in a prayer motion, because really, only divine intervention would allow him to keep this job he was absolutely unqualified for. After a second, Wonwoo's face softened, and he shrugged. "Sure.”

"Really?"

"Yeah. I don't really give a shit about this job," he huffed, and rolled back up to his desk to click out of the data input program.

Soonyoung sighed in relief, falling back into his own chair. "Thanks, man, seriously."

"It's whatever. You wanna go to the vending machines?"

“Sure.”

And that's how his first day went.

 

The thing about being an IT guy in the modern office was that Soonyoung had grown to be sort of obsolete, and not just because he was totally useless in the field. Technology had become too user friendly, and people generally knew what they're doing. Their particular office didn’t even use any sort of heavy duty software that would require major upkeep, and a lot of their business was done over the phone. He and Wonwoo didn’t even have to work that hard to keep his cover.

Most of Soonyoung's days were spent fiddling on his phone while Wonwoo glared too closely at his computer screen and pounded numbers into his spreadsheets mindlessly. Sometimes, Wonwoo would get dry eyes, so Soonyoung would hand him his eye drops. Soonyoung brought him snacks from the vending machines in the afternoons, too. From what Soonyoung could tell, Wonwoo would zone out for extended periods of time and neglect his basic needs like food and water.

Luckily, though, Wonwoo only got like that for about the first three hours of work, give or take. After that, he was a pretty terrible employee.

Wonwoo broke out of his spell around, Soonyoung checked, 12:13 every day. He came out of it like he was resurfacing from a dive into an ocean crevice or something, sighing deeply. Soonyoung kept getting caught watching him, because Wonwoo's head would spin around like he was making sure all his surroundings were still how he left them before he went under, and Soonyoung was always staring. Wonwoo was really interesting.

He didn’t look mad about it, though. In fact, Soonyoung would ask if Wonwoo wanted to get lunch with him, and Wonwoo always said yes. Wonwoo liked to eat outside, on the little stoop up to the front door of the building, even though it was getting a bit too cold for it. One day, Wonwoo heated up a nice looking pasta and Soonyoung scarfed down a crummy little sandwich that he'd thrown in a brown bag that morning without so much as a napkin. "So, how's your day?" Soonyoung asked as Wonwoo sprawled out with his spidery limbs across the concrete.

"Fine," he mumbled around his linguini. "This job sucks ass."

Soonyoung chuckled a little, but he didn’t really feel the same. He felt really lucky to have the job and he was afraid saying anything bad about it would jinx him. "Why do you work here?" he asked.

Wonwoo paused at that and shoved a big forkful of noodles in his mouth. "I dunno."

Soonyoung found that a little odd. He'd applied for this job on purpose, because he thought computers were super cool and he thought that maybe being thrown into this would be a great way to force himself to learn. It wasn’t really working out like he thought it would, but he knew why he worked there.

Wonwoo still looked slightly dead inside, even in the sunshine, even with the carbs. Soonyoung had a weird urge to shake him by the shoulders or something, just to see him react. "I guess… I guess I work here because I don't know how to do anything else."

"All you know how to do is data entry?"

"I mean, not literally," Wonwoo said. "Obviously."

Soonyoung didn’t really think it was obvious, but he said, "Right."

"It's just, I don't know how to do the things I want to do without, like, not having any money."

"Well, what do you want to do?" Soonyoung asked, not because he thought he might know a way to make Wonwoo some money, but just because he wanted to know what Wonwoo liked to do.

Wonwoo grumbled like he didn’t want to say it, but after a second, he said, "Like, design stuff? I like, uh, video games? It's dumb."

"It's not dumb!" Soonyoung shouted, making Wonwoo startle and drop a piece of pasta. "Video games are awesome," he said, like Wonwoo didn’t already know. "That's so cool."

Wonwoo smiled shyly around his fork, chewed on it until the plastic bent under his teeth. "Thanks," he murmured. 

"You should totally show me sometime," Soonyoung suggested.

"Maybe," Wonwoo said. "What do you like to do? Other than IT, because, no offense, but..."

"Yeah, I suck. You can say it."

"You suck."

"The truth is," Soonyoung sighed, "I don't think I've really found what I want to do yet? Like, I kind of just try a bunch of stuff, all the time, and I guess I'm just waiting to find something that sticks."

Wonwoo nodded along like he understood, but Soonyoung could tell that he didn’t, not really. Wonwoo seemed like the type of person that knew what he wanted most of the time. "What have you tried?" he asked, peeking up at Soonyoung and squinting in the sunlight.

Soonyoung smiled. "It would probably be easier to say what I haven't tried." Wonwoo laughed a little at that, so Soonyoung pretended to count on his fingers, and then pretended to lose count and throw up a stack of invisible papers in frustration. "Seriously, though. Last year, it was surfing instructor. Two years ago, it was summer camp counselor. Year before that, it was freelance wedding photographer. Who knows what it'll be next year. Unless…" he turned to smirk at Wonwoo. "Tech could be my true calling."

"Could be," Wonwoo laughed. 

"I haven't given it a proper try yet, we never know."

"Well, I have good news for you. If you really want to give it a try, you've got a hell of a practice room here."

"Thanks for your support. You can be my first guinea pig."

Wonwoo shrugged. "I wouldn't hate you if you broke my computer, to be honest with you."

"I could be persuaded," Soonyoung joked. "Pay me to mess up, since I don't know if I'll ever be paid not to."

Wonwoo gave Soonyoung a smile, but their lunch break was almost up and they knew it. Soonyoung fiddled with his paper bag while Wonwoo rushed to finish off the rest of his pasta, and they sat in the relative silence of the chilly afternoon as cars rushed distantly by.

Back inside the office, everyone was getting back to work, but this was the part where Wonwoo would realize he'd done most of his day's work in the first few hours, so he and Soonyoung preferred to play around on the computers. There was a website of kids’ games that Soonyoung had showed Wonwoo on his second day, so they went to it and started playing some game Wonwoo said he used to play when he was in middle school. They had to defeat an inexplicable army of balloons that were invading their kingdom, or something.

They got pretty competitive about it despite not knowing each other that well yet, and Soonyoung liked to see Wonwoo get fired up about it. They worked in a walled off back section of the office, so people couldn’t hear them easily enough to complain about it. Soonyoung felt pretty sure that Wonwoo wouldn't even care if people did complain, but he was still trying to leave a good impression on the people that worked there. 

The closest person to them in the office was the other accountant, Jihoon, who always had his back to them in his little corner. Soonyoung approximated that he left it about sixteen thousand times an hour, for water or to pee or to smoke, Soonyoung had no idea. Just after Wonwoo had defeated a rush of balloon minions with the strategic placement of road spikes, Jihoon heaved a sigh and left his cubicle again. "Hey," Soonyoung said, nudging Wonwoo. "What's his deal?"

"Oh, Jihoon? He just absolutely hates us all."

"What?"

"Yeah," Wonwoo said, sounding like he didn’t really have a good explanation. "Just hates our guts."

"How do you know that?" 

Wonwoo peered around the room and waved Soonyoung in closer. Soonyoung went to him without question, and followed his eyes to the browser he was pulling up. Wonwoo logged onto his work email, the formulated one that was so twisted it barely even resembled his name anymore. "Lemme show you something," he whispered. In the search bar, he entered a string of unintelligible letters that resulted in Jihoon's contact. Each of Jihoon's emails were subject-less, and short enough to be read in their entirety in the preview alone. Wonwoo clicked on the first one, sent three days ago.

It read: If you and the new guy don't shut the fuck up, I'm coming back there and stripping all your cables of their protective rubber casings, duct taping you both to the live wires, and dumping water on you.

"Oh my god," said Soonyoung. Wonwoo smirked at Soonyoung’s visible horror. "We need to report this to human resources, or the police–"

 

"Oh, he doesn't mean it," Wonwoo assured him halfheartedly.

"How do you know? How do you know he doesn't mean it?"

"He's just like that in the mornings."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means that right now, he's getting his sixth cup of coffee to complement the bitterness of his very spirit? I don't pretend to know why Jihoon is the way he is, but he's totally harmless. I swear," he added after catching Soonyoung's unconvinced face. "You know what? You should come drinking with us after work today."

"You get drunk around that guy?"

Wonwoo bumped Soonyoung's shoulder with his own. "Just come along. It'll be a good way for you to get to know everyone."

Soonyoung agreed hesitantly, still a little bit terrified of this Jihoon character and how much he apparently despised him after knowing him for almost no time at all.

 

Wonwoo and Soonyoung carpooled to the bar. Wonwoo had insisted on being Soonyoung’s designated driver, seeing as he invited him and all, but Soonyoung wasn’t planning on getting too wild. He didn’t need a bunch of brand new people knowing how much of a lightweight he was or seeing him reduced to drunken tears about whatever happened to set him off. 

At the bar, Wonwoo ordered a soda and Soonyoung got himself a rum and coke, and they sat there to wait for everyone else to arrive. Over the volume of the jukebox, Wonwoo gave him the rundown.

"Okay, so there's the receptionist, Joshua." Soonyoung nodded, matching the name to the face in his head. Joshua was a soft-looking boy who seemed very nice from the little Soonyoung knew about him. He smiled kindly at him when he came into the office every morning, so Soonyoung figured he liked him fine. "And there's Minghao and Mingyu." Minghao and Mingyu worked together in the front of the office and Soonyoung had no clue what they did at all. Mingyu had spoken to him once or twice, just casual small talk at the water cooler. Soonyoung had honestly never seen Minghao speak before in all his time at the office.

"Great, okay.”

"You know our HR guy, Jeonghan," Wonwoo continued. Soonyoung did know Jeonghan, and he knew that he was not a very good HR guy. On Soonyoung's first day, he'd spun around in his chair to face Soonyoung and said, “I usually roll in around ten, so if you need something, find me after eleven.” 

Soonyoung thought wow, so nobody here is qualified? But he’d come to realize that it was really just the two of them in that boat. "I know him," Soonyoung confirmed.

Wonwoo laughed. "Yeah. Okay, so, Seokmin and Seungkwan are coming, too. You probably don't really know them well yet."

"Nope."

"Well, a word of warning, then. It might get weird."

"I can handle weird." Soonyoung was pretty sure he meant it.

 

Seungkwan eased a fourth or fifth shot into Soonyoung’s mouth with an almost maternal tenderness, and Seokmin clapped him hard on the back as he choked it down. “New guy!” they cheered, ruffling his hair up and making him dizzy. 

Wonwoo watched on, shaking his head. He looked resigned and more relaxed than Soonyoung had ever seen him. In the office, even when they were playing games, he had a seriousness that clung to him. This version of Wonwoo was one he'd only come close to seeing on their lunch breaks, when he was stretched out in the sunshine. Soonyoung liked him like this, so he gave him a grin and a thumbs-up, pretended the alcohol wasn’t still burning in his chest.

Seungkwan and Seokmin apparently decided to take it easy on him after that, and they all settled into a booth across the room. In the safety of the darkest corner of the bar, Soonyoung let himself slouch into the wall where his head could steady itself. Seungkwan and Seokmin pulled up chairs, packing everyone into the booth like bookends, already halfway into some wild story about their out-of-work adventures that everyone ate up, laughing and clapping at their antics as an eager audience. 

Soonyoung thought they were probably the funniest people he'd met in a while, and he already felt himself coming out of his shell around them. They were just so likable, and they had everyone hanging on their words as they wove them like artists, catching everyone on hairpin turns and leaving them wanting on their pauses. Soonyoung couldn’t even really follow the story anymore, but he watched them like a movie on mute and appreciated the theatrics of it all.

Wonwoo glanced over now and then, raised his eyebrows at Soonyoung like he was surprised at how everything turned out. It made Soonyoung feel a little bad, how Wonwoo didn’t really know him well enough to know just how much he got people like Seungkwan and Seokmin, how he sort of was one of them. But Wonwoo didn’t know him very well at all, and he didn’t really know Wonwoo, and it was all fine. They’d only been working together for a week and a half and their sort of early camaraderie was a good sign in Soonyoung’s eyes. 

So Soonyoung laughed along with everyone else while Seungkwan mimed some giant mishap he’d had in his kitchen earlier, and Seokmin reacted to it in real time even though he was there when it happened. They were roommates, or something like that. Wonwoo waved a waiter over and Soonyoung feared he was about to call for more shots, but he ordered waters for the whole table like some sort of responsible adult. 

“It’s getting late,” he whispered into Soonyoung’s ear sometime after he sobered up enough to sit up good and straight. Soonyoung went to check his phone, but it was dead and probably had been for a while. “It’s around midnight,” Wonwoo told him. He gestured to Soonyoung’s useless cell. “Is anyone waiting on you?” 

“I hope not,” Soonyoung answered, and shoved the thing back into his tight front pocket. 

“You live alone?” 

Soonyoung shook his head. “I live with a couple of randoms. They wouldn’t notice if I never came home.” 

“Surely they’d notice when it came time for rent,” Wonwoo joked awkwardly. 

Soonyoung wanted to drop it. “You wanna head out?” 

“It’s up to you,” Wonwoo said. “I’m yours for the night.” 

Soonyoung snorted and looked back out at the rest of the table at how everyone existed together so casually, in their own little worlds. “You wanna just go for a drive?” Soonyoung felt like he’d had enough excitement for the night, but he didn’t want to go home to his bare bedroom and weird roommate-strangers and bad, days-old pizza leftovers, yet.

Wonwoo looked a little surprised, but it was only a moment before he said, “Sure. Let’s go for a drive.” 

 

They ended up on a highway leading them out of the suburbs and into the nearest city. At first, Soonyoung sat timidly in his seat, hands in his lap. The radio was turned down low and Wonwoo muttered to himself about the traffic and Soonyoung nodded along. He’d sobered up too quickly, and now he felt stupid for asking Wonwoo to take him for a drive when they’d never been alone together outside of work, and Wonwoo probably thought he was either super weird or totally boring. The radio droned on for a while under the hum of the heat through the vents. After they merged onto the interstate, Wonwoo finally spoke up. 

“So, do you think Seokmin and Seungkwan are fucking, or what?” 

Soonyoung choked on his spit. “What?”

“I’m just trying to figure it out and I dunno… you saw them.” 

“Uh, yeah,” Soonyoung laughed. “They seem close?” 

“Close,” Wonwoo echoed, squinting at his mirror and switching lanes. “They made out at a company party last year and we’ve all been confused ever since.” 

“Whoa, really?” 

 

“Yeah, it was traumatizing. I hate knowing that my coworkers have, like, love lives.” He said love lives the way one would say swamp monster when telling a scary story to a bunch of children. 

“Maybe it’s not love,” Soonyoung suggested, and relished in Wonwoo’s disgust. “Maybe it’s just… doing it.” 

Wonwoo faked a gag. “Please don’t say ‘doing it.’”

“Some adults do it, Wonwoo. Even Seokmin and Seungkwan. Possibly even Jihoon.” 

Wonwoo laughed out loud. “Stop. This is ruining sex.” 

“I like Seungkwan and Seokmin,” Soonyoung said after they both calmed down. “It’d be cool if they were together.” 

“Yeah, well, I think they like you too.” Wonwoo opened up the center console and shuffled through the CDs inside. “Do you wanna play something? There’s not a lot, but…” he trailed off. Soonyoung noticed that Wonwoo did that a lot. 

Soonyoung pressed on a ceiling light and pulled the albums into his lap. “A lot of sad boy music in here,” he commented. “Oh, Alanis Morissette? That suits you.” 

“Don’t mock me,” Wonwoo mumbled. Soonyoung inserted the CD and skipped to the second song, singing along lowly. “This is a good album.” 

“I’m not arguing with you.” 

Wonwoo bobbed along reservedly, keeping his eyes on the road. He managed to keep his face blank until Soonyoung belted out, “And I’m here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away.”

Wonwoo finally joined him, practically screeching, “You, you, you oughta know,” with the perfect accent and vocal hiccups and everything. They sounded awful, but Soonyoung cheered him on and they performed the rest of the song with all the drama they could muster. 

“We’re bad,” Wonwoo said when it was over. They were in the city now, and the car lit up with marquee signs as they cruised through the arts district. 

“No, we’re good. Let’s go crash a play.”

“Okay, we’ll give them a good show.” 

Soonyoung leaned back in his seat and took in the sights. “Are you from around here?” 

“Nope,” Wonwoo said. “Got hired out of uni and moved here because I had nothing else to do.” Soonyoung hummed. “You?”

“I grew up here.”

“Do you like it?” 

Soonyoung shrugged. “It’s fine. I thought it was cooler as a kid. I found some pretty weird corners of this place.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Mmhm.” He looked over to Wonwoo. “Do you want me to show you?” 

Wonwoo said, “Sure.” Soonyoung directed him to the end of the street and to the left, where a cluster of apartment complexes and hospital buildings sat atop a hill. They drove up to the top level of a mostly empty parking garage, one that used to be for a medical center before it got shut down ages ago. It was the highest point of the area, and Soonyoung used to go on night runs through it. 

“It’s haunted,” he told Wonwoo. 

Wonwoo said, “I can feel it.” He parked poorly near the edge and they got out to sit on the hood of the car. The city was bright below them, looking so busy and alive in contrast to the quiet up high. “Wow,” he said after a long while. “This isn’t so bad.” 

Soonyoung snorted. “Is that the best I can get?” 

“I mean,” Wonwoo laughed. “It’s cool. This place usually seems so tiny and boring, but it looks nice. From far away.” 

“I’ll take it.” Soonyoung lied back against the windshield, arms under his head. “It’s not much, but it’s home, I guess.” 

Wonwoo came back to join him, and their elbows bumped. “It’s… it’s kinda grown on me, too.” 

Soonyoung smiled to himself, blinking up at the faint stars. “I’m glad.” 

 

The next day, somebody called for Soonyoung. That had never happened before, so he was startled, admittedly. Also, Jihoon threw a pen at him. 

“What?” Soonyoung jerked up from where he was half asleep on his desk. “What’s happening?” Wonwoo was still working, but his gaze flickered ever so slightly, so he was at least unconsciously interested. 

“Uh,” a voice said from the doorway. “Hi?” It was Seokmin. “I was just wondering if you could help me with a software update? I know that’s, like, well beneath you, but I always seem to screw it up…” 

“Yes!” Soonyoung exclaimed, hopping out of his seat. “Yes, I can help you with that.” 

Soonyoung looked back on his way out to see Wonwoo watching him leave blankly. Soonyoung gave him a thumbs-up. 

“So, I’m just gonna run to the break room, if that’s okay,” Seokmin said as he guided Soonyoung into his desk chair. “You’ve got this, I’m sure.” 

Soonyoung mustered a laugh. “I hope so.” 

“Alright, thanks.” Seokmin backed out of the room, leaving Soonyoung with the others. Luckily, nobody was paying him any attention. He jostled the mouse to wake up the screen, then read over the instructions of the program’s update page. 

He clicked carefully, minding the instructions like his life depended on it through every prompt. Seokmin still wasn’t back by the time the download started, and he didn’t come back during the eleven minute process. Soonyoung made sure not to mess with anything too much once it all seemed complete, just rolled the chair back under the desk and quietly made his way out, feeling like he’d just scammed the whole world and gotten away with it.

On his way back to his desk, he bumped into Seokmin, who was shuffling out of the stairwell with messy hair and his tie loosened. “All done?” he breathed, flattening his hair out with his fingers. 

“Uh huh…” Soonyoung nodded. Seokmin thanked him sheepishly and Soonyoung forced himself to keep moving, because he was pretty sure if he didn’t, he would see Seungkwan sneak out of the stairwell in a similar state. 

Back in his section of the office, Wonwoo looked up to watch Soonyoung dance to his desk. “Did the software update go well?” he asked.

“Wonwoo, it went amazing.” 

“I’m impressed.” 

“I know you’re being sarcastic, but let me tell you, it feels really good to do your job correctly.” He plopped down into the seat, spinning a little. 

“I can’t relate to that feeling,” Wonwoo said through a smile. “But I’m happy for you.” He turned to face his computer again. 

“Before you enter the void again–” Wonwoo hummed. “Seungkwan and Seokmin… I think you’re right.” Wonwoo’s jaw dropped open a little in proud surprise, eyes still fixed on the screen. 

“I knew it.” 

“You knew it.” 

“Can you shut up?” Jihoon said, ruining it. 

 

“You have to stop,” Wonwoo said. “You have to stop right now.”

Soonyoung had his eyelids flipped inside out, and Wonwoo was gagging. “Come here, my pretty,” Soonyoung croaked. 

“What is that? What imitation is that supposed to be?” Wonwoo demanded as he walked backwards, creeping along the brick side of the office building. 

“I– I don’t know. A witch.” Soonyoung zombie-walked after him, arms outstretched and fingers wiggling. 

“Do witches… do this?” Wonwoo stumbled a little over a dip in the grass. “I’m gonna run. Or scream. Or both.” 

“I could outrun you even with my wonky eyes!” Soonyoung yelled, already picking up in speed. 

Wonwoo squealed and broke left into a graceless sprint. Soonyoung chased him around, not at his full speed, but just fast enough to make Wonwoo nervous and giggly. Wonwoo tired out pretty quickly; he turned to hold his fingers up in a makeshift cross to ward Soonyoung off as he heaved with reddened cheeks. Soonyoung backed him up against the front of the building, not really trying to scare him anymore. Wonwoo squeezed his eyes shut as Soonyoung flicked his eyelids back down. 

“I’m normal again,” he whispered. 

“No you’re not,” Wonwoo joked, smirking. 

Soonyoung faked offense and then placed a casual hand on the wall above Wonwoo’s head. Wonwoo leaned infinitesimally forward, in challenge, maybe. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You know,” Wonwoo said. 

The front door came swinging open and Jeonghan marched out. Soonyoung jumped back in surprise, brought his arm stiffly to his side. Jeonghan gave them a passing glance of indifference and continued out into the parking lot. Wonwoo was grimacing. 

“We should–”

“Let’s go back inside,” Wonwoo interrupted, already shimmying past Soonyoung toward the door. Soonyoung followed after him feeling strangely exposed. 

 

In the twenty-six days Soonyoung worked at the office, autumn slipped into winter. It got too cold for Soonyoung and Wonwoo to take their lunch break outside, so Wonwoo showed Soonyoung a place they could eat without being bothered by everyone else. 

“You’re taking me to your hidey-hole?” Soonyoung had giggled. 

“Not if you keep disrespecting it.” Wonwoo threw a nasty look back at him. “I’m doing you a pretty big solid here, man. Nobody else knows about this place.” 

Soonyoung doubted it, but he kept his mouth shut. “Forgive me.” Wonwoo hummed in consideration. They stepped into a storage closet on the far end of the building and fumbled around in the dark. It smelled like mop water and there was barely enough room for the both of them. “This is really something, Wonwoo,” Soonyoung said, pressing himself up against a filing cabinet so Wonwoo could shut the door. 

“Hold on,” Wonwoo said. A moment later, there was light, and Soonyoung could see how cramped it really was in there. “Okay, it’s kind of a one-person deal usually…” 

“Ah, no, I love it.” Soonyoung dropped his paper bag on the floor and squatted down to join it. He folded himself into a criss-cross position and Wonwoo followed suit. Their knees knocked together before Wonwoo adjusted himself so they weren’t rubbing up against each other the whole time. “How’d you find this place?” he asked around a mouthful of sandwich. 

“One day I just went around opening doors,” Wonwoo said. “I used to do that a lot as a kid. I guess I just like knowing what’s around me. That’s weird.” 

“Not weird. I still have to check behind my shower curtain every time I go to the bathroom.” 

Wonwoo snorted. “Have you ever seen anything?” 

“Not yet, thank goodness. What about you?”

Wonwoo paused. “I guess the coolest thing I’ve found behind a door was this piano room in my friend’s grandmother’s house.” 

“Yeah? You go snooping in grandmothers’ houses, too?”

“Shut up, I was allowed. It was nice, all antique and stuff.” 

“Do you play the piano?” Soonyoung extended his legs, put one out straight and the other sideways, the inside of his right leg resting against Wonwoo’s knobby knee. 

“Nah. I think I’d like to, though,” Wonwoo mumbled. 

“You could do it, I bet. You’ve got the fingers for it.” 

Wonwoo’s face twisted. “What does that mean?” he asked, examining the way his fingers curled around his plastic spork. 

Soonyoung groaned. “Like – they’re all long, and… and bony and stuff.” 

“Bony?” 

“Agh, don’t make me explain myself. I was trying to compliment you.” 

“Fine,” Wonwoo said, smiling to himself. And then, “Thanks.” 

“You know, we could probably stay in here for the rest of the day and nobody would know.” 

“I think you’re right.” Wonwoo looked at Soonyoung with a sly smile. “I can go get a deck of cards from my desk.” 

Soonyoung laughed. “Oh, please do.” 

“Okay.” Wonwoo scrambled to stand, turning to Soonyoung with a thumbs-up before slipping out of the room. 

Soonyoung finished his sandwich before Wonwoo got back, deck in hand. He didn’t know many card games, so they took turns playing the dealer in blackjack, which they embellished with funny accents and pretend high stakes. 

“Alright, this one’s for… the, all the money,” Wonwoo said with his Dealer Voice as he shuffled the cards. 

“Very realistic.” Wonwoo swatted at him, then put down a seven. “Hit me.” A four. “Hit.” 

“In a real game, I don’t think you’re supposed to say it.” 

“Just–” Soonyoung tapped the floor between them. A nine. He tapped again, and Wonwoo shook his head. Soonyoung tapped more aggressively. An ace. “Wait, are aces high or low?”

“Um,” Wonwoo laughed. “I don’t know.” 

“Well, let’s say low.” 

Wonwoo hummed. “I don’t know…” 

“Okay, you can’t just make up rules now to sabotage me,” Soonyoung whined. “Like, what if I need this money for my kids?” 

“Is that your character’s backstory in this? How boring.” 

Soonyoung gasped. “It’s not boring, it’s sweet. What’s your backstory, huh?” 

“Um, I’m on the lam. Law’s after me. I work here under a false identity.”

“Wow, what’d you do?” 

Wonwoo buried his head in his hands and laughed. “I… I stole.” 

Soonyoung knew he was struggling, but he pushed him further. “What’d you steal?” 

“Uh, wheels? Yeah, I stole all the wheels in the city. Left everybody… wheelless.” 

“That’s diabolical,” Soonyoung said solemnly. Wonwoo nodded in dramatic shame. 

“Guess you could say I… took away their wheel to live.” 

“Oh, wow,” Soonyoung started, and fell into a fit of appalled giggles. Wonwoo looked very pleased with himself, patting Soonyoung on the back when he collapsed into Wonwoo’s lap. “I’m calling the police. You need to be pun-ished.” 

“The teacher becomes the student.” Wonwoo’s phone chimed with a text notification. “It’s Jihoon.” He showed Soonyoung the message, which read “did you die.”

“Aw, he’s worried about you.” 

“What a darling. Do you wanna take a nap? I stashed a couple pillows somewhere around here.” He went to rummage behind the supply shelves.

Soonyoung said, “I was hoping you’d ask,” and they woke up a couple of hours later, all disoriented and with Soonyoung’s arm asleep from finding its way under Wonwoo’s head sometime. 

“I’d say this was a successful day of work,” Wonwoo yawned. “What time is it?”

“Three-thirty,” Soonyoung told him. Wonwoo helped him up and poked his head out the door to check if the coast was clear, then waved Soonyoung out. When they got back to their desks, Jihoon looked back to regard them suspiciously. 

“Where’d you go?” he asked, looking affronted. 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Wonwoo replied, and put on his glasses. 

Jihoon rolled his eyes and faced the wall again. “Whatever.” They had nothing more to do but play computer games, so for the remaining hours of work, that’s what they did. Jihoon shot a look at them once to say, “Quit your whispering,” but otherwise, he left them alone. Soonyoung could tell that Jihoon was warming up to his presence slowly but surely, and it made him feel a little more at home in his desk clump. 

At the end of the day, Wonwoo and Soonyoung walked down to the parking lot together and just before getting in his car, Wonwoo said, “Today was fun. We should hang out more. Out of the office. If you want, I mean.” 

Soonyoung smiled and said, “Yes, we should totally do that.” 

“Okay, cool,” Wonwoo said, blushing a little shyly, and gave Soonyoung a wave as he started his engine and backed out of the parking space. 

 

Soonyoung invited Wonwoo over on a Friday night to, as he put it, “Watch something and eat pizza and stuff,” and Wonwoo seemed pretty excited about it. In fact, he showed up to Soonyoung’s apartment in a nice pair of black jeans and a button down and a scarf with tiny dogs on it. Soonyoung felt very underdressed in his sweatpants, but he told Wonwoo he looked great, which he did. Wonwoo hung up his coat on one of the chairs at the kitchen table and Soonyoung showed him around the common area. 

“This is the living room,” he explained even though it was obvious. “You’ll notice the couch is of the dumpster variety, and my roommate dries his underwear on that tasteful rack over there.” 

“It’s lovely,” Wonwoo laughed. “Are your roommates home?” 

“Nah, they usually go out on the weekends.” 

“Ah,” Wonwoo said, rocking back and forth on his heels. “Should we–” 

“Right!” Soonyoung felt suddenly as if he didn’t know what he was supposed to be doing. “Please sit on my garbage couch.” Wonwoo went to sit politely on the right side of the couch and Soonyoung pulled up the contact of his favorite pizza place. “What do you like on your pizza?” 

“Uh, just pepperoni’s fine. I’m a simple man.” 

“I respect that.” Soonyoung ordered and plopped down next to Wonwoo. “How was your day?” 

“It was amazing. I went to work and then I went home.” 

“Wow, your day was a lot better than mine,” Soonyoung sighed. “I just went to work and then went home.” 

“Mm. Sounds awful.” 

“Oh yeah. I work with some real characters.” 

“Do tell,” Wonwoo said, unraveling his scarf and getting more comfortably situated on the couch.

“Well there’s my deskmate, Wonwoo. Pretty sure he’s a witch.” 

“A witch?” Wonwoo snorted. “I love him already.” 

“Yeah, on the first day of work, I think he put a hex on me? It made me really, really bad at my job.” 

Wonwoo shook his head. “That’s rough. Wait till you hear about my deskmate. This guy, I swear, so peppy for nine in the morning.” 

“These two should meet up,” Soonyoung said. “Sounds like a wild card pairing.” 

“I think they’d like each other, actually,” Wonwoo said. “Together they’d make up one whole competent employee.” 

“You know, you look happier outside of work,” Soonyoung said, breaking the bit. 

“Well,” Wonwoo sighed. “Work sucks.” He looked down at his hands where they were resting in his lap. “Like, the actual working part.” 

“Say what’s on your heart, Wonwoo,” Soonyoung teased. “I’m the best part of that place, you can admit it.” 

Wonwoo pushed at Soonyoung’s shoulder playfully. “Shut up. My favorite part is the mystery stain in Seungcheol’s office, you know that.” 

“Ah, how could I forget. Best living thing, then.” 

Wonwoo narrowed his eyes. “I think Seokmin keeps a turtle in his desk drawer.” 

“My feelings are getting hurt.” Soonyoung pulled his knees up to his chest. He was leaning into the corner of the couch, and Wonwoo was sitting cross-legged on the opposite end, and the cushion between them seemed too big for Soonyoung’s taste. He stretched his legs out across it cautiously, keeping them bent and his feet flat until they reached the dead center. 

Wonwoo said, “Tell me about that.” 

“It all started when I was five…” 

Wonwoo threw his head back in a laugh at that. “Is that also when you found your passion for technology?” 

“Please, my parents didn’t even have a computer.” 

“Man, playing on the computer was the best part of my childhood, I think. I was one of those pale loser kids who never went outside.” 

“Like a vampire. Classic you.” 

“I thought I was a witch,” Wonwoo said. “I’m having an identity crisis here.” 

“You can be whatever you want to be,” Soonyoung said seriously. 

Wonwoo groaned. “I want to be a fucking… cloud.” 

“Jeon Wonwoo: game designer extraordinaire and cloud-person. Rolls off the tongue.” There was a knock at the door and Soonyoung hopped off the couch, paid the delivery guy, and brought the greasy box over to the couch. He set it on the center cushion and they each grabbed a slice, Wonwoo a little more carefully, probably to protect his nice shirt. 

“This is… juicy,” he commented. He grimaced at the yellow grease running down his hand. 

Soonyoung snickered. “Would you like a napkin?” 

“Oh, no, I was just going to wipe it on your couch.” 

“Honestly, go ahead. No one would be able to tell the difference.” Wonwoo wasn’t satisfied with that, apparently, because what he did next was lick up the grease from the little bone protruding from his wrist, up his palm, to the tips of his fingers, and Soonyoung’s breath caught in his throat a little bit. “There’s– that’s. That’s a solution.” 

“Bleh.” Wonwoo scrunched up his nose in disgust. “That was gross.” 

“Uh huh,” Soonyoung agreed dumbly. Had he never seen Wonwoo’s tongue before? 

“You good?” 

“Uh huh,” Soonyoung repeated and clicked on the tv. “What do you want to watch? We don’t have cable, but there’s, uh, Netflix.” 

“Whatever’s fine,” Wonwoo said, turning on the couch to face the tv. His legs were so long they took up a significant portion of Soonyoung’s periphery, and he felt distracted. He selected some show he’d been halfway through an episode of and proceeded to pay absolutely no attention to it. 

 

The second-to-last day of Soonyoung’s employment at the office was so uneventful that he was almost able to convince himself he was settling into a career. He checked his email every ten minutes, gossiped with Wonwoo, and took an unreasonable number of bathroom breaks. Nothing was amiss, nobody needed help. He thought he was safe. 

Until, that is, Jihoon called his name. Soonyoung and Wonwoo’s heads both snapped up to see Jihoon’s computer screen covered in pop-ups that kept coming and coming. He pushed back from his desk and threw up his hands in frustration. “Help.” 

Soonyoung approached Jihoon’s desk fearfully. When he squatted down to pretend to inspect it closer, Wonwoo appeared at his side. “Let me look at it,” he whispered. 

“Why would you look at it?” Jihoon asked. “Let the actual IT guy do it.” Soonyoung groaned, and about a thousand more pop-ups flashed across the screen. Jihoon watched Wonwoo wince and after a painful pause, said, “What.” 

Wonwoo nudged Soonyoung out of his way and kneeled in front of the computer. “Soonyoung knows jackshit about computers. No offense.” 

Soonyoung waved him off. “None taken.” 

“How have you been working here for a month?” Jihoon asked, looking exhausted. 

“Honestly, I have no idea. But, um, I have a terrible feeling that our time together might be coming to a close.” 

Jihoon heaved a sigh as Wonwoo clicked away on the mouse. “How much fucking porn did you download, dude,” Wonwoo said, pressing the power button forcefully. 

“Shut up. This wouldn’t be a big deal if this company hired, like, qualified people.” 

“You’re telling me, buddy,” Soonyoung said. “This is gonna be so embarrassing for me.” 

“Does this happen to you a lot?” 

“I wouldn’t say a lot–”

“Oh, god,” Wonwoo gasped. “Oh shit.” 

Soonyoung watched Jihoon’s face twist in horror as Wonwoo desperately tried to exit out of the window containing Jihoon’s Sent Emails folder, where one in particular sat alarmingly at the top, addressed to the entire office with the subject: Important Memo. In the body, there was only a link to a website that, if the pop-ups were any indication, had a lot to do with ass. Jihoon slumped in his seat, defeated. “Well. It’s almost 5 p.m. I say we just wait this out.” 

After a second of consideration, Wonwoo said, “Sounds good to me.” 

“Okay,” Soonyoung said. He didn’t think he really had another option. 

When they left the office that day, Seungcheol wished Soonyoung a good night from his office. Wonwoo leaned in to whisper, “Just act natural.” 

Soonyoung saluted him with a smile. “Yes sir,” he said. “You, also. Have a good night.” 

Seungcheol nodded a little awkwardly. “You don’t have to call me sir. That’s… that’s alright, Soonyoung.” 

“Right, right. Goodnight, man.” 

“Too informal,” Wonwoo snapped. 

“Uh, okay,” Seungcheol said, waving. Soonyoung took off. 

“Listen, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Wonwoo said. Soonyoung was sitting in the driver’s seat of his car with his forehead against the steering wheel. “It’ll be okay, I think.” 

“I’ll miss you,” Soonyoung moaned dramatically. “It’s been fun.” 

Wonwoo said nothing, just propped Soonyoung back up by the shoulders and shut his door for him. Soonyoung gave him pathetic look through the window and Wonwoo gave him a thumbs-up, and Soonyoung thought about how they sort of switched personalities for a second there. Soonyoung drove home with a sense of impending doom and Alanis Morissette on the radio. 

 

It was not okay, despite what Wonwoo said, and Soonyoung probably should have just left when he had the chance. As soon as he got settled the next morning, with Jihoon and Wonwoo looking rigid around him, Seungcheol stormed into the room. “Did you hear about the virus?” he asked, and Soonyoung let out an involuntary squeak. 

“The what?” 

“The virus. Jihoon computer must’ve been hacked or something, he sent out a link to the office and now half the computers are infected.” Seungcheol ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know why they thought he’d distribute a memo with a link.” 

“Whoa,” Soonyoung said, sounding terribly unconvincing. “That’s horrible.” 

“Well, you better get started out there,” Seungcheol said, gesturing to the front room. “We’ll give you a minute to… gather supplies, or whatever.” He swung open the door with too much force, and Soonyoung looked to Wonwoo in desperation. 

“What am I going to do?” he whined. “Should I just run?” 

“Maybe,” Jihoon suggested. 

“No. Look,” Wonwoo said seriously, grasping Soonyoung’s shoulders and looking him dead in the eye. “You can do this. You know how to download a software update, right?” 

“That just proves I know how to read.” 

Wonwoo shook him. “You know how to make a spreadsheet, right?” 

“I know how to open up a spreadsheet document.” 

“Seriously, how did you get here?” Jihoon interjected. 

“I’m not saying you can do this,” Wonwoo continued. 

“Oh?” 

“But I’m saying you should try. Because that’s what you came here to do. Isn’t it?” Wonwoo let go of Soonyoung but held the eye contact. Soonyoung shivered. 

“You’re awful chatty around this one, aren’t you?” Jihoon commented. 

Wonwoo shot him a look. “This is your fault, Jihoon. The least you could do is feel bad about it.” 

Soonyoung felt split between giddiness over the fact that Wonwoo believed in him and fear of what was to come. He took a deep breath to center himself, then stood up, catching the attention of Wonwoo and Jihoon. “I’ll do it,” he announced. “I’ll go out there and try, and probably get fired, and that’s okay.” He felt the room’s eyes on him as he strode confidently to the door. He glanced back once to nod at Wonwoo, who smiled at him with pride in his eyes. 

Fifteen minutes later, Seungcheol looked more confused than Soonyoung had ever seen anybody look before. “You’re… you’re fired? Right?” He looked to Jeonghan, and Jeonghan nodded. “Yeah. You’re fired. Go pack your things, Soonyoung.” 

Soonyoung’s head fell in shame, but he made it back to his desk without getting too upset. He didn’t want Wonwoo to see how disappointed he was, although he wasn’t so sure why exactly he was disappointed. He definitely didn’t like computers anymore, but he was going to miss the job a lot, he thought. He didn’t speak to Wonwoo and Jihoon when he gathered up his cell phone charger and unused word-of-the-day calendar. He didn’t want to say goodbye. 

Now he stands with his tiny, sad box of office supplies clutched tight to his chest, and Seungcheol gives him an insincere wave with about as much passion as Soonyoung had had for the work, and it all feels very fitting. His coworkers stare in vague interest at the poor guy with the shortest record in the office's history as he taps on the receptionist's desk weakly. 

He’s about to say something cool, he hopes, when Wonwoo stomps in. Everyone looks over, still mostly disinterested, as he comes face to face with Seungcheol. Soonyoung thinks he looks weirdly tall all of a sudden, like he’s lording over Seungcheol a little bit. “I did it,” Wonwoo says, voice shaking. “I spread the virus. On purpose.” 

Soonyoung hears somebody gasp. He thinks it might be Seungkwan. “Wonwoo–” he starts. 

“Let me,” Wonwoo interrupts. “I’m sorry, Seungcheol. And everybody else, I guess.” He seems to lose steam here, looking around the room and tugging at the ends of his sleeves. 

“Really?” Seungcheol asks, exasperated. Wonwoo nods once. “Um, okay. Well, you’re fired? Anybody else?” There’s silence, and Seungcheol walks back into his office, slamming the door behind him. 

Wonwoo turns to Soonyoung with a smile and offers his arm. “Shall we go?” 

“I think we better,” he laughs in disbelief, and they walk out like that, but not before Wonwoo swipes a couple of mints off of Joshua’s desk and chucks one at Jihoon, who’s popped his head in to watch. He gives the other one to Soonyoung. 

In the parking lot, Soonyoung has to ask. “What the hell was that?” 

“Soonyoung, I watched a Ted Talk the other day.” 

Soonyoung says, “Oh, boy.” 

“It was about taking what you want. And, like, seizing shit. So I took that opportunity to… not be working there anymore. And I’m looking into taking some design classes. And…” he trails off, embarrassed. 

“Take your time.” 

Wonwoo looks up at Soonyoung, reaches for his hand. “And if you’re cool with it, I’d like to take you on a date? God, that was lame.” 

Soonyoung grins. “No, it wasn’t.” 

They stand there smiling stupidly at each other until Wonwoo remembers: “I left my stuff up there.” 

“Do you want to… meet me at my place? Not in, like, a sexual way. I mean–”

“That’s fine, that’s fine,” Wonwoo laughs. “I’ll see you there, Soonyoung.” 

“Okay,” Soonyoung says, and Wonwoo jogs back up to the office for the last time. Suddenly, he can’t remember why he didn’t want to leave. Nothing seems more appealing than that when he knows Wonwoo is close behind.

**Author's Note:**

> (wonwoo voice) you're the only motherfucker in this office who can handle me!!!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> anyway thanks for reading!!! let me know if you think wonwoo really did it. i'm on [twitter](https://twitter.com/auntienamjoon) and [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/auntienamjoon)


End file.
